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Reality vs Fantasy
When I hear people tossing
about words like "self-created" or
"psychosomatic" with
regard to Real Vampyres I tend to get a bit perturbed. To
me this is like saying
that being gay is "psychosomatic" or that D/s
lifestylers are "self-created".
We are born this way, whether we
discovered this difference
early or come to a late epiphany, the end result is
the same. We are
born with a hunger beyond the needs for food, drink
or sex. It's not
a pleasant little ritual we indulge at a whim but a
real, driving need that
can tear us apart if not met.
I've heard some describe
the hunger as "the worst heroin addiction you
can imagine...now multiple
it by 1,000 or even 10,000". No sane person
chooses to experience
that kind of physical pain and emotional need or
the rejection that comes
from those we hold dearest and the world
around us. To
say this is all in our heads is both insulting and degrading.
It negates the suffering
many Real Vamps without donors endure on a
daily basis and reduces
all of us to the level of silly children playing
delusional mind games.
As a community, we may
not agree on the root causes of vampyrism or
even have a set of "standard
characteristics" but who needs a check list
of pre-determined traits
to validate what we already know inside? We
know that when we feed,
on blood or energy, it's the most intense,
satisfying, mind altering
experience of our lives and that without it we
starve. Something
that we are compelled to repeat time and again or go mad.
Most Real Vamps talk
of feelings of lethargy, depression, hyper
awareness to the environment
and a gradual drop in physical health.
Photo-sensitivity seems
to be a common trait and most of us do have a naturally
nocturnal circadian
rhythm but these are not a defining traits.
Whether these effects
have psychological or physical causes isn't the
point...this is OUR
reality. Even the names "vampire" and "vampyre" are
simply convenient, if
romantic, names we use to identify our differences and
to create a sense of
shared identity.
We are humans with bills,
jobs, families, kids, problems and all the
baggage that goes with
life in the 21st century. We are not Lifestylers
who enjoy the occasional
sip of blood with wine and aspire to the
media created vampire
image of power, sex and an impressive black wardrobe.
We are not Role Players
with their clans, character sheets and endless
rules. We are
not immortal supernatural beings who slither from the
grave and steal souls
from the living. We don't claim to be any more, or
less, than what we are...Real
Vampyres.
I have enjoyed the company
of numerous Lifestylers and wasted too many
nights to count in Role
Play chat rooms. For me these are congenial
people with whom I share
a common interest in all things vampiric. Most
are intelligent, well
read, funny people who openly admit that for them
it's all a fantasy,
a persona or a game. They're attracted by the aura
of darkness, danger
and seduction which is part of the vampire myth but
they are not consumed
by the hungers of Real Vampyres nor do they wish
to be.
What I have little use
for are the vampire wannabees or vampire
groupies who cluster
around anyone with black clothing and a vaguely sinister
appearance. I've
heard them referred to as Jugular Bunnies, Meat
Puppets, Blood dolls
or simply The Herd. Even when they wear all the
appropriate "vamp" trappings
and use the all the "right" words...you can still
sense the lack of darkness
in their souls. They smell of desperation,
insecurity and a deep
self-loathing. They will say anything, do
anything, be anything
for the promise of "becoming" a vampire. While some may
view these "vampabees"
as convenient donors or toys for mind games, I
prefer to spend my time
with adults who share my interests and whose
company I enjoy, online
or offline.
Dressing rotting tripe
up in a hodgepodge of metaphysical verbiage
doesn't make it less
noisome or repellent. So many purported "vampire"
web sites fall into
this pernicious class of net.trash. Bits and pieces of
lore, myths and Hollywoodisms
mixed liberally with flawed logic,
shallow feel good California-style
touchy-feely New Ageism and a dash of sex
equals bad advice and
worse practice.
My best advice to any
newly aware Real Vamp who might be seeking
advice, information
and support is to head directly to Sanguinarius's
Resources for Real Vampires
and READ everything BEFORE committing yourself to
some group, clan, or
family. Click either the banner at the top or
bottom of this page
to go to Sangi's web site.
Morganna
Queen of The Damned
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